WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
