You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Please don't give away my fajitas
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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