carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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