I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
