I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
