Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we're making bets on your personal life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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