I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
