i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
