yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do vagina's smell?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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