There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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