are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
