I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
