wat bout pragnant strippers??
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
