NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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