Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
