Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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