I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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