How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize