I swear she didn't look like that last week.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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