Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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