Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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