I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
