You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
