just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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