gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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