i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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