I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
