My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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