O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
