please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize