yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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