We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize