I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
