i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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