It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
