i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
