And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
