I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
