Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
