Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
