with your own penis?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
