Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
