to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
