Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
