I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
