My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
