i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Randomize
