Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
