Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ladies don't puke and tell
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
