apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
