I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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