so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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