yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
