as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
