I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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