she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize