just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
