yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
