You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
