i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
